


can i wish you away?

by sunnyeols



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Friendship, Growing Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24974881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyeols/pseuds/sunnyeols
Summary: They say that Sicheng reads minds, manipulates and tears things open without consent.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Song Yuqi/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	can i wish you away?

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still new to this whole writing thing so any kind of advice or criticism is welcome!

Sicheng is ten years old when it first happens. It's an ordinary summer day, a day to be marked off the calendar with no significant memory attached to it. He's lying on the floor, watching his little sister color a cartoon character. July is the hottest month of the year. The sun rises, crawls into every nook and corner and it mops up yesterday's rain puddles, leaving the sidewalk hot and dry. Sicheng's shirt uncomfortably sticks to his back and he rolls over, idly noting that his mother is still talking on the phone. 

"Red crayon... pass me the red crayon."

Sicheng dutifully nods, taking the said crayon and rolling it towards his sister. They've almost finished coloring. Maybe, he'll go outside once they're done with it.

"How did you know that I needed this crayon?"

She is staring at Sicheng with a curious look. He laughs and nudges her with his elbow.

"You said it yourself."

"No, I didn't," his sister insists, pushing the coloring sheets away, "tell me how you did it."

Sicheng bats his eyelashes at her and sits up. "I don't know, maybe I'm a wizard."

She giggles and they move on. Sicheng doesn't understand it so he pushes it aside.

He realizes that he can actually read minds a few days later. Big revelation for a tiny boy like Sicheng. He can look at his mother and know what she's planning to cook for dinner. He grasps the edges of the reason why she's always so sad. 

He can read people's thoughts and can also choose not to. Cool. He's special. He's God's favorite. Well, maybe not, but the sentiment is still the same. But the thought of it terrifies Sicheng to no end, he thinks that something must be terribly wrong with him. Unsure if he should tell his mother because she's already sad enough, he locks it away and keeps it a secret, deep in his chest. It's the first time Sicheng hides something from her.

He meets Yukhei when he's thirteen years old. Yukhei's the same age as him, but much bigger. His eyes are big, his ears are big, everything about him is big. Sicheng finds it a bit strange. His family just moved in next door and they end up going to the same school together. This town is small, there's no other school anyway. When Sicheng stares at him, trying to figure out what he's thinking, Yukhei's already staring back at him. _"I'll ask him to be my friend after school today,"_ is the thought Sicheng reads and he repeats the sentence over and over again in his mind. When he smiles at him, Yukhei smiles back.

As his friendship with Yukhei grows and blooms, his other friends become less important to him. Nobody likes being the second choice. Some of them try to keep up, Kun occasionally asks him to play football together with them, but he turns him down every time. Yukhei's funny and he always knows what to say, while Kun trips over his words and fumbles around. He tells Kun that and he doesn't ask Sicheng to play football with him again.

When they're fifteen, Yukhei has a hopeless crush on a girl from their class. Puppy love, they call it. Yukhei never directly told him that, but Sicheng can sense it. The cafeteria is bustling with people and Yukhei might think that he himself is doing a pretty good job at being low-key about the whole thing but it's kind of hard to not to notice, really.

"You should just tell Yuqi, you know."

Sicheng unwraps the cling film off his sandwich and takes a bite. It's mostly just bread. Not really a sandwich.

"What?" Yukhei asks, defensive tone evident in his voice. Sicheng puts his sandwich down.

"I don't know. Just go and tell her that you like her," he tries to reason because Yukhei definitely needs a push and Sicheng is a good friend. And that's what good friends do.

"I never told you that I liked anyone though... How did you even know that it was Yuqi?"

Sicheng swallows down a lump of bread. The noise in the cafeteria has died down and Yuqi is still sitting there with her friends, laughing about something. She's pretty, he has to take Yukhei's side on that.

"Dude, do you read minds or something?" Yukhei jokes and turns around to look at Yuqi. Sicheng considers it for a moment and decides he trusts Yukhei enough.

"I don't actually know."

"What am I thinking of right now?"

"The ice cream shop down the street?"

Yukhei looks impressed, to say the least. Sicheng's stomach churns with the thought of being rejected, being called a freak. 

"Wait... you actually do?" Yukhei whispers and leans into him. Yuqi stands up and leaves with her friends but he doesn't even notice that.

"You get convinced so easily. I could be tricking you."

"No, you're not. That's so cool. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Sicheng wraps his sandwich back in its cling film and stuffs it into his backpack. He can read what Yukhei's thinking right now.

"Don't report me to the government or something. They'll probably dissect my brain in a second. Also, no, I would not like to become a spy."

Yukhei laughs. Sicheng clings to the soothing familiarity of it.

If Sicheng tries hard, he can remember the song his mother used to sing for him when he was little. He never caught the name and doesn't know the lyrics well but still, he tries to hum it for his sister. She complains that she's too old for lullabies now.

Yukhei actually asks Yuqi out. They kind of date for a while and Sicheng listens to him gush about her every other night on the phone. If he's happy, maybe Sicheng can learn too. But it doesn't last more than a month. When Yukhei keeps silent at school and the phone calls stop, Sicheng doesn't pry. 

Yukhei eventually asks him if he wants to hang out, after a few days of radio silence.

"Don't think too much," he tells him when he finds Yukhei standing outside, waiting for him. Winter bites at his cheeks and Sicheng has never felt this small.

"You're reading my thoughts again," Yukhei accuses with a playful glint in his eyes.

"No, I'm not. I just know when you're thinking too much."

"Cheesy."

Sicheng just sticks his tongue out and huddles closer to his jacket. Later, when Yukhei moves to kiss him, an unsaid question hovering over them like a cloud, Sicheng lets him.

His heart hammers in his chest.

When they're sixteen, Sicheng gets called to the principal's office. He hasn't talked to Yukhei since morning, but he also got called and Sicheng doesn't even know what they did wrong to be standing here, side by side. He can sense the uneasiness in the air from miles away.

"Do you boys know what you did to end up here?"

Both of them shake their heads. The school principal is a stern woman, at least that's what Sicheng heard.

"Did you steal Mr. Zhang's wallet?" She gets straight to the point and stares them down, waiting for an answer. Sicheng is speechless. 

"What? No, I, we didn't! Why would we-" Yukhei starts, wildly gesturing. They wouldn't even dream of touching their teacher's wallet. The bell rings right at that moment and if he strains his ear, he can almost hear classroom doors opening and students pouring outside, chattering with one another. 

"Your classmates say you two were the only ones left in the classroom during the lunch break. And Mr. Zhang's briefcase was on the teacher's desk."

"But, we didn't, Mrs. Song..." Sicheng whispers after a moment. The floor seems to sway under his feet.

"Did you do it?" She raises her voice and they shrink back, any words they had dying on their tongues.

"I'll inform your parents about this."

This is the first time he sees Yukhei cry.

Yukhei's father comes to pick him up. He doesn't spare a single glance at Sicheng but he knows that his father is furious and Yukhei is scared out of his guts. It doesn't even make sense. They didn't steal anything. As Sicheng waits for his mother to come, he feels the crushing loneliness people talk about in books and movies, come over him.

(Yukhei does what he has to do to protect himself. He blames, points fingers and gets out of the mud clean.)

Sicheng stops talking to his classmates after that. He doesn't talk to Yukhei again either. Yukhei's popular and nice and everybody believes him, anyway. They think Sicheng dragged him into this mess. Rumors spread fast. It's kind of silly, how fast and hard they believe.

(They say that Sicheng reads minds, manipulates and tears things open without consent.)

When he tells his mother everything, she kisses his forehead and sings for him. Sicheng cries even harder.

Kun approaches him one day. Sicheng is sitting alone in the library, resting his cheek on some dusty book and Kun takes the seat next to him, corners of his mouth lifting up.

"I read a lot of books, I don't trip over my words anymore. However, I still fumble around," Kun tells him. Sicheng swallows his shame and guilt down. Kun's thoughts whisper _"I wish he knew that I care about him,"_ and Sicheng feels so scared, so out of place.

"No, you don't," he bluntly says. Kun's eyebrows furrow and he grabs Sicheng's wrist before he could leave.

"I don't what?"

"You don't care about me. I was mean to you, how could you be kind to me?"

"Oh, silly." Kun's voice is clear and confident. 

Somebody hisses _"tone it down!"_ from the back.

Sicheng is almost seventeen when he hears that Yukhei's family is moving away to a different country. There's a goodbye party happening next week and Sicheng finds an invite slipped between the pages of his history book. He puts it on his bedside table but he doesn't go.

On the day of the goodbye party, Yukhei throws pebbles at his window nonstop. Sicheng opens his window and almost gets hit with one.

"I'm sorry. I really am," Yukhei shouts. Everything looks orange. The sun is almost setting.

"Why aren't you at your party?"

"I thought you would come, but you didn't."

Sicheng doesn't say anything. He can hear his mother and sister watching TV downstairs. He slides on his shoes and goes outside.

"Hey," Yukhei greets him, looking down. Sicheng would've said that he looks different, would've pointed out his dyed hair for the dramatic effect; but he doesn't, he literally saw Yukhei everyday for the past few months. Their town is just that small. The world doesn't stop spinning for a heartbreak.

"I did a terrible thing to you. I won't ask you to forgive me."

"Good. Because I won't."

Yukhei flinches. The rumors have died down but they still whisper about Sicheng in the hallway. 

He sees Yukhei cry for the second time. Sicheng doesn't go to bed bitter and betrayed like he used to, just tired and longing. He sighs and rubs his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I did a terrible thing to you, I missed you so much," he repeats and repeats and repeats. The sun has set and Yukhei has a flight to catch tomorrow. His friends must be waiting for him at the party.

"I can't trust you again," Sicheng takes a shaky breath. His palms are damp and clammy. Yukhei nods. 

"I never meant for us to turn out this way. I'm sorry. I really am."

"I know. See you, Yukhei." 

"Wait!" he yells after him but Sicheng turns around and goes back to his house. His mother is in the kitchen and she studies him carefully before asking him if he's okay. 

Yukhei doesn't call him or throw pebbles at his window again. As Sicheng lies in bed that night, he wonders if he should've been more honest. 

And Yukhei leaves the next day, just like how he first came here. Sicheng stands outside all day and when the afternoon sun is still bright up in the sky, he angrily wipes away the first drop of tears. 

Kun nudges him with his elbow and asks him if he wants to play football. Sicheng nods. 


End file.
